1 On 1 meeting facilitator guide
Complete guide for running effective 1-on-1s with direct reports, including prep, agenda, and follow-up.
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Last updated: November 5, 2025
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Engineering Manager
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Complete guide for running effective 1-on-1s with direct reports, including prep, agenda, and follow-up.
You are preparing for a 1-on-1 meeting with a direct report. Generate a complete facilitation guide:
**Context:**
- Direct Report: [Name/Role/Level]
- Your Relationship: [New report / Long-term report / Struggling / High-performer]
- Last 1-on-1: [Date - how long ago?]
- Current Projects: [What they're working on]
- Recent Events: [Any significant events: launch, incident, feedback, etc.]
**Generate a comprehensive 1-on-1 guide:**
## 1. Pre-Meeting Preparation (15 mins before)
**Review:**
- [ ] Notes from last 1-on-1 (action items completed?)
- [ ] Recent work: PRs, project updates, team feedback
- [ ] Any concerning signals: missed deadlines, quiet in meetings, team feedback
- [ ] Career development goals and progress
- [ ] Feedback you need to give (positive or constructive)
**Your Mindset:**
- This is THEIR meeting, not yours
- Listen 80%, talk 20%
- Be present (close Slack, turn off notifications)
- Curious, not interrogating
**Prepare Questions:**
- [ ] Open-ended questions about their work and well-being
- [ ] Follow-ups on previous conversations
- [ ] Career development check-in
## 2. Meeting Structure (30-45 mins)
### Opening (2-3 mins)
**Check-In:**
- "How are you doing?" [Pause. Really listen]
- "What's on your mind today?"
- "What would be most helpful to talk about?"
**If They Say "Nothing Much":**
- "That's great! Let me share what I wanted to cover, and we can also use this as open time"
### Their Topics (20-25 mins)
**Let Them Lead:**
- "What's top of mind for you this week?"
- [Listen actively, take notes]
- [Ask follow-up questions]
**Common Topics They Might Raise:**
**If They Discuss Project Progress:**
- "What's going well?"
- "What's blocking you?"
- "How can I help remove blockers?"
- "Do you have what you need to be successful?"
**If They Discuss Team Dynamics:**
- "Tell me more about that"
- "How is that affecting you?"
- "What would you like to see change?"
- "Have you talked to [person] directly?"
**If They Discuss Career/Growth:**
- "What skills do you want to develop?"
- "What opportunities interest you?"
- "What would make you feel challenged and engaged?"
- "Let's map out next steps"
**If They Seem Stressed/Burnt Out:**
- "What's contributing to that feeling?"
- "What would help you feel more balanced?"
- "Is the workload sustainable?"
- "What can I take off your plate?"
**Red Flags to Probe Deeper:**
- Vague answers ("everything's fine")
- Lack of engagement or energy
- Mentions of wanting to learn X (might be job hunting signal)
- Conflicts with teammates mentioned casually
### Your Topics (10-15 mins)
**Feedback (Always Include):**
**Positive Feedback:**
- "I wanted to call out [specific thing they did well]"
- "I appreciated how you [specific behavior]"
- "[Person] mentioned [specific positive feedback]"
- Impact: "This helped the team by [specific impact]"
**Constructive Feedback:**
- "I wanted to discuss [specific situation]"
- Describe behavior, not judgment: "In the meeting, I noticed [specific behavior]"
- Impact: "This affected [team/project/person] by [specific impact]"
- Ask: "What's your perspective on this?"
- Collaborate: "How can we make this better?"
- Support: "What do you need from me?"
**Updates/Context Sharing:**
- Company news that affects them
- Team changes or priorities
- Appreciation from leadership or other teams
**Action Items from Last Meeting:**
- "Let's review what we committed to last time"
- [Check status of each item]
- [Update or close out completed items]
### Closing (3-5 mins)
**Summary:**
- "Let's recap what we discussed"
- "Action items: [list them]"
- "Anything else before we wrap?"
**Schedule Next One:**
- "Same time next week?"
- [If something urgent: "Want to sync sooner?"]
**End on Positive Note:**
- "Thanks for sharing [something they opened up about]"
- "I'm excited about [something they're working on]"
- "I'm here if anything comes up before our next 1-on-1"
## 3. Post-Meeting Actions (5 mins after)
**Document Notes:**
- [ ] Key discussion topics
- [ ] Action items (yours and theirs)
- [ ] Follow-ups needed
- [ ] Career development progress
- [ ] Any concerns or patterns
- [ ] Positive feedback to remember for reviews
**Follow Through:**
- [ ] Send summary of action items (if commitments made)
- [ ] Complete your action items promptly
- [ ] Flag any urgent issues to your manager or HR
## 4. Question Bank by Topic
**Project/Work:**
- "What are you most excited about working on?"
- "What's frustrating you?"
- "Is anything blocking you that I can help with?"
- "Are you clear on priorities?"
- "Do you have the right scope? Too much? Too little?"
**Team/Collaboration:**
- "How are things going with the team?"
- "Who have you enjoyed working with recently?"
- "Any friction I should know about?"
- "Are you getting the support you need from teammates?"
**Career/Growth:**
- "What have you learned recently?"
- "What skills do you want to develop?"
- "What's the next role you're interested in?"
- "What would a great next 6 months look like for you?"
- "Am I giving you opportunities to grow?"
**Well-being/Balance:**
- "How's your workload?"
- "Are you able to take time off and disconnect?"
- "What's your energy level like?"
- "Is there anything making work harder than it needs to be?"
**Manager Feedback (Ask Regularly):**
- "What can I do better as your manager?"
- "Am I giving you the right level of support?"
- "Is there anything I'm doing that's not helpful?"
- "What would make our 1-on-1s more valuable?"
## 5. Common Scenarios & How to Handle
**Scenario: They Have Nothing to Talk About**
- Use your prepared questions
- Share context on team/company
- Make it career development focused
- Shorter meeting is OK sometimes
**Scenario: They're Venting**
- Let them vent (they need to be heard)
- Empathize: "That sounds frustrating"
- Then shift to problem-solving: "What would help?"
- Take action on fixable things
**Scenario: You Need to Give Hard Feedback**
- Don't save it all for review time
- Be direct but empathetic
- Specific examples, not generalities
- Focus on behavior, not character
- Collaborate on improvement plan
**Scenario: They're Thinking of Leaving**
- Don't panic or get defensive
- Understand why: "What's making you consider other options?"
- Ask: "What would make you want to stay?"
- Be honest: Can you address their concerns?
- Support their decision either way
**Scenario: They Want a Promotion**
- Be honest about timeline and requirements
- "Here's what the next level looks like: [specifics]"
- "Here's the gap I see: [specific skills/scope]"
- Create plan to close the gap
- Set expectations on timing
**Scenario: Conflict with Teammate**
- Hear their side completely
- Ask: "Have you talked to them directly?"
- Offer to mediate if needed
- Don't take sides without full picture
- Follow up in future 1-on-1s
## 6. Red Flags to Watch For
**Signs of Disengagement:**
- Consistently short answers
- Lack of enthusiasm about work
- Not proactively bringing up topics
- Missed 1-on-1s or wanting to skip
**Signs of Burnout:**
- Talk of being tired/overwhelmed
- Working long hours regularly
- Not taking time off
- Decreased quality of work
**Signs of Job Searching:**
- Asking about career development suddenly
- Mentions of wanting to learn [skill outside current role]
- Less engaged in long-term planning
- Asking about reference policy
**Action:** Don't ignore red flags. Address directly with care.
## 7. 1-on-1 Anti-Patterns (Avoid These)
**❌ Making it a status update:**
- Use async updates for project status
- 1-on-1s are for coaching, career, relationships
**❌ Talking more than listening:**
- You should listen 80%
- Ask questions, don't lecture
**❌ Only discussing work:**
- Check in on how they're doing as a person
- Career goals matter too
**❌ Canceling frequently:**
- Shows they're not a priority
- Reschedule, don't cancel
**❌ Not taking notes:**
- You'll forget commitments
- Shows you're not really listening
**❌ Saving all feedback for reviews:**
- Feedback should be continuous
- No surprises in reviews
## 8. Frequency & Format
**Weekly 1-on-1s (Recommended):**
- 30 mins minimum
- Consistent day/time
- In-person or video (not Slack)
- Private space
**Exceptions:**
- New reports: Maybe twice weekly for first month
- Senior/autonomous reports: Bi-weekly OK if they prefer
- During intense project: Daily check-ins instead
**Never:**
- Monthly or less (too infrequent)
- Via email/Slack (not real conversation)
- In public spaces (not safe for honest conversation)
## 9. Sample 1-on-1 Note Template
**Date:** [Date]
**Attendees:** [Your name] + [Report name]
**Their Topics:**
- [Topic 1]: [Key points and discussion]
- [Topic 2]: [Key points]
**My Topics:**
- Feedback: [What I shared]
- Context: [Company/team updates shared]
**Action Items:**
- [ ] [Their name]: [Action item] - Due: [Date]
- [ ] [Your name]: [Action item] - Due: [Date]
**Career Development:**
- Skills to develop: [Current focus]
- Opportunities: [What's coming up]
**Notes for Next Time:**
- Follow up on: [Topic to revisit]
- Watch for: [Any concerns]
**Mood/Engagement:** [1-5 scale and notes]
## 10. Making 1-on-1s Great
**Your Commitment:**
- Show up prepared and present
- Protect this time (don't cancel or reschedule unless emergency)
- Listen more than you talk
- Follow through on commitments
- Care about them as people, not just workers
**Encourage Them:**
- "This is YOUR time. Come with topics"
- "I'm here to support you. Tell me what you need"
- Share your notes template so they can prepare
**Continuous Improvement:**
- Ask for feedback on 1-on-1s quarterly
- Adjust format based on their needs
- Celebrate when something from 1-on-1 leads to positive change
**Remember:** Great 1-on-1s build trust, catch problems early, and help people grow. They're the most important hour of your week.Get access to enhanced versions, advanced examples, and premium support for this prompt.
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